Bigger & Better Things

There have been several changes in my life in that last year. For starters, I turned 20. And I stopped having that dream about cave bears. I implemented a budget and no longer drink 4 cups of coffee a day. I started seeking the wisdom of my parents and I realized that Facebook is a colossal waste of time.
And I withdrew from Baylor University and moved to Missouri to intern at Camp Barnabas.
That change was probably the biggest. And it came with a million new challenges.
When I was in college, I thought waking up for my 9:00am class was the hardest thing I had ever done. My alarm would go off and I would consider the ramifications of skipping class, and try to remember how many absences Baylor’s policy would allow.
Now I have people who depend on me to get up in the mornings and get them ready for the day whether I feel like it or not. I don’t get to consider staying in bed. At least not for more than five minutes.
Some mornings satan screams, “you can’t do this another day!” And some morning I believe him.
But some morning I listen to God’s gentle whisper: “My grace is enough for you and my strength is made perfect in the places you feel the weakest”. And sometimes I remember that for more than an hour.
But then Suzie drops her cell phone on the ground for the 14th time today, and Jake gets mad and throws a pumpkin off the dining hall porch. And Carley’s frustrated because she had to butter her own bagel. And Jaime doesn’t feel good. And Harley won’t stop talking to the dog. And Jen’s chair is dead.
All of that makes me think that maybe I would rather be back in college, struggling to make it to that 9:00am class and worrying about typical 20 year old issues.
But I know I should be here. And deep inside I know that I want to be here.
Because Suzie just poured her own juice, and Jake cleaned up the pumpkin. And Carley admitted that she was proud of herself for fixing her own breakfast. And Jaime is singing about dinner. And Harley took the dog for a walk. And Jen plunged a toilet.
We’re all being stretched and we are all growing.
And I’m in the kitchen making dinner and wondering why I’m lucky enough to be a part of this wonderfully crazy adventure that we call “Barnabas Prep”. Because even when I am overwhelmed by all the chaos in this house, I know that this is an experience I will be thankful for.